is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
