You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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