people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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