"it" just moved
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
