This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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