I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
