I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize