I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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