You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize