Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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