I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
