my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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