Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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