Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
