4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize