whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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