I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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