You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize