I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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