I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
