You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
