Your face is a jimmy john
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
