dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
