We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Less talking, more tequila
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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