So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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