Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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