I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Gay?
German.
Pity.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
