Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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