the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
