Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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