If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
