I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
