But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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