The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
