For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
