wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
