whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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