hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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