Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize