she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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