i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
