what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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