I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
