What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
