My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just pee around me
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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