Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
