If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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