I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I want a musical about memes.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
