Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
