You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
