we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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