Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
