Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize