anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
