Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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