and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
