lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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