just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
