I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
